It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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