I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
