Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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