I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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