in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
