hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
