I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
and you said cock pushups were impossible
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
