People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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