Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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