That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
