So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
