"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
