the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
time to smoke my breakfast
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
