I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
