Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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