Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
