help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
