never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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