I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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