every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
No stitches, just platelets and will power
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize