So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
