Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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