Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
