just come out here and I will go home with you...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
