i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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