this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
