if i can run in heels then i can drive
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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