I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize