no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
