Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
