evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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