Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize