You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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