Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
