Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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