no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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