thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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