she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
