well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
