her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize