I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
