Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
