So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
