And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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