Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
