bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
