everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
