Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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