he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
