M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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