I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
