Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
