I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
