remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
