No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Less talking, more tequila
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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