I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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