I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
