that's an acceptable place to lick
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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