I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
