It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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