I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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