i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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