You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
