Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
false alarm, still single
Randomize