i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
