i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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