Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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