It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
