member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
