margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
