Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
