okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
