Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
